The last time you drove through the handy Greasyburger and got your sack with the Mega-sized Number Five and and Gigantic soda, did you also get some change? Probably, because with the exception of Hubby and his ilk, few people deliberately carry the 99 cents they might need to pay the exact amount of the bill. I always have that much change and more, rolling in the bottom of the purse with the loose mints and three or four Chapsticks, but we’re talking here about accessible cash.

Now, think back. When that arm came out of the window and dropped the coins into your waiting palm, did the person on the other end of that arm count it out for you? No, I really mean count it out, not hand you whatever their computer told them to, Are you kidding? Few people under the age of 60 know how to count out change.

Just in case any Greasyburger employees are actually reading this, let me explain. If a customer orders a basic Greasyburger and fries, and his bill comes out to $6.37, he will probably hand you a twenty-dollar bill.This is due to laziness on his part, but that doesn’t concern us here. The thing is, you are required to hand back the balance between that twenty and the $6.37 he owes you. No problem, right? The little machine spits out a receipt for him and a nice, shiny display that tells you to give him $13.63. All you have to do is remove that amount from your cash drawer and dump it in his hand. You pull out a ten, three singles, two quarters, a dime, and three pennies.

In the old days, he would have expected you to prove that the amount was correct by counting the change back to him, from the purchase price right back up the twenty dollars he gave you in payment. Here’s how it goes: $6.37 (the bill), $6.40 (hand him the three pennies), $6.50 (hand him the dime), $7.00 (the two quarters), eight nine ten (the three singles), and a ten dollar bill makes twenty. It’s pretty easy,really.

Unfortunately, they don’t teach things like this in school anymore, or maybe our Greasyburger employee was absent that day. His employer wouldn’t want him to spend too muich time on such a thing, and the customer isn’t paying any attention anyway, is he?

Perhaps you should, Customer, but your mind is already on the fries you’re going to snitch from the bag before you even get out of the drive-through lane.

Hmmm . . .if I got a job at Greasyburger and shorted each customer out of just a dime, nobody’d even miss it and I’d have a whole bunch of dimes in my pocket at the end of the day. I wonder if they might hire an old lady who knows how to count out change? I doubt it.

I’ll see you again, after the commercial.

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