It isn’t easy, you know, being on this side of things. Do you think I actually chose to be, always, the bad guy? Of course not. It just happened that all the good parts were taken by the time I came around. Maybe it was my appearance; for some reason the casting agent wasn’t very optimistic.
“Well, we’re pretty sure we’re going to go with the girl in the red suit, and that little old lady knitting in the corner is perfect for the grandmother-type. And I’m sorry, but you have to admit you’re just not the right image to be a courageous hunter. We have a couple of those already, anyway, although I think the one in the brown suit will have to go. He seems to be getting a little too familiar with the kid; George says he saw him trying to untie her cape, and we sure can’t have that kind of thing going on.”
The agent checked out some papers on the table in front of him. “We do have one major role available. We haven’t quite decided on the type of character we want here. The Brothers Grimm beat us to trolls, dwarves and evil stepmothers. We need a little different take on the bad guy. Do you suppose you could handle that?”
Well, work was tough to come by in those days, so I agreed, especially when the guy promised that if this one worked, he had another property regarding a boy and some sheep that might have a part in it for me.
So, there you are. I’m a major player in a lot of stories now, but I never get any closer than second billing. I did suggest some small changes in story titles, but they didn’t seem inclined to accept “Wolf!” the Boy Said, or Wolf and the Kid in the Red Cape.
Ah, well. You take what you can get. At least it’s a living.
I’ll see you again, after the commercial.